time time time a ticking away.

funny how it goes, and goes - and then all of a sudden, you realize something you think of as recent has slipped into the past - and is a month, a year, a decade ago. i was just discussing a christmas party with a friend, that felt like yesterday - until the date stopped us in our reminiscing tracks - it's december tomorrow. which means that another year has gone by.

but what really hit this home came about after a rainy day of meandering through the internet. after hours and hours of checking all my favorite sites and blogs and online haunts, i googled myself. c'mon, you know you've done it too. anyhow, i stumbled upon something that made me speechless at the passing of time, and how time heals all wounds, or at least, the memories of them:



i wrote that when i was 20. so almost 10 years ago now. that odd, surreal little year of my life i had cancer. i had completely forgotten that i ever wrote this. reading it over made me almost in awe of my former self. and note the heavy emphasis on 'former' - i am not that strong a person now, believe me.

illness and suffering have a way of changing a person, giving them a grace that is unmatched. but time, oh time has a way of making you forget. forget the things you wrote and the way you felt - and seeing this just made me realize that in 10 years i have gotten better, but worse for taking things, life, everything, for granted. so at the tail end of this thanksgiving weekend, i see, truly, what i have to be thankful for.

2:30 am.

amazing how an early night here is a late night anywhere else. this is the city that never sleeps, and all i want to do is go to bed. i guess it's a 'when in rome' situation - because i'm not a stitch tired, though i just got home. and this, again, can be filed under 'early nights'.

of late they've all been, well, late.

and good, of course. and random, of course. the thing about this town (and yes, that is how i apparently start every one of my rambles) is that you end up having these moments, these experiences, that you'd only have with close friends elsewhere. but here, you share with strangers, and have fun doing it. wednesday i had drinks and fancy sushi and sake and more with a good friend and his friends. not so random, but still full of meet and greet and eat and sweet.

thursday was thanksgiving, which emptied out the town proper. it was dead quiet on the streets that normally hop and bop till forever. everyone was at home gobbling and i suppose, thanking themselves and each other for love and life and good in these rather bad times. or something as cliche. at any rate, it was quiet quiet quiet when my 2 new friends chester & pasha came over for orphan turkey-day drinks. we headed to schillers, all twinkly and touristy, for thanksgiving dinner, which was full of laughs and yes, turkey. after, we hit tile bar, where the bartender mixed us hot apple cider and maker's mark. delicious / deceptively strong. if i had to give thanks for anything later, it was that the bar was 2 blocks from my house.

and now it's early sunday morning. i had a fairly uneventful evening - first a pint at beauty bar, where they serve pints and manicures. because, you know, in a city of a million bars, every one needs its own schtick. after, we hit zabloski's in williamsburg for a friend's birthday. again, funny how these nights work. i went out to meet one friend. he introduced me to 3 others. he went home, and i took the 3 others with me. and so, another night of experiences with strangers. which again, is refreshing. and i know - refreshing might just be the most insincere sounding word in the word-o-sphere, but hey. i am not supposed to be articulate this late. just know that i am in awe of the everyday here. of how strange and different and defining it all is. how 2 months in, i know i've changed. except of course, i still speak in cliches.

good to see that some things stay the same.

this is the day to wax frenetic and poetic about how there are so many things to be thankful for. and it's true, there are. for example, i am thankful the lovely little sugar cafe has a free wireless-connection, since mine has decided to go on a very untimely sabbatical. and so i get to see a parade of interesting randoms go by. on a holiday like this, i wonder what brings them to this narrow hallway of a coffee shop. are they alone, without family in the city, like me? or are they more into croissants and cupcakes than turkey and stuffing? hard to say. the two-some behind me are in the midst of a heated french language lesson. and while that sounds like a euphemism for romance - it's not. they really are just going over verbs and conjugations. loudly.

a few nights ago, i found myself at another coffee shop - a bakery, really - using their free wireless. it was a tiny postage stamp of a bakery, and the only other patron was an old man watching 'heroes' on a huge wall-mounted flat screen. why a small bakery would have a huge flat screen wall-mounted television is the first mystery. the second, of course, is why an old man would come to the bakery to watch 'heroes'. and why he would think i was interested in his running commentary on the show. and yet, i kind of was. even the teenager behind the counter and the british lady in the window got into the discussion. the random conversations you have in this town. people are willing to share just about anything - personal space, personal details of their lives - personal belongings. maybe it's how a city of transient loners has evolved to avoid loneliness.

at any rate, i left the 9th street bakery much like i'll leave the sugar cafe today - with a renewed sense of the strangeness of this place. but i dig it, oh i do.

This morning, i stopped to buy a banana at a fruit stand at the bottom of 1st ave. the sign said, '25 cents each', so i picked one up. And then this absurd exchange followed:

"50 cents for that banana"

"But the sign says 25 cents!"

"This is America."

"But the sign says 25 cents!!!"

"It's American money."

"But the sign says 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ok pay me whatever you want."

Love getting hustled about bananas on my way to work. Really, it was so ludicrous it amused me, and i found myself laughing with the vendor as I handed over my quarter.

This is America, indeed.