tecate, 5 am.


well, almost.

and i have been terrible. and by terrible, i mean, well, not at all. apologizing for incommunicado on the blog-front is the most self-indulgent thing you can possibly do. because let's face it, not many people are rabidly refreshing their pages, waiting for an update. i mean, my life is, well, normal. and normal isn't so, well, riveting.

and yet, my life is moderately interesting.

it's been a month of what. of realizations:

that no matter how far i seem to wander, i keep going back. to something that's what, true? maybe. true in a stupid sort of way. true blue. a saccharine stomper i almost chose at karaoke tonight, but settled instead on 'like a prayer'. which might be more appropriate. because let's face it, it's all very blind faith of me. i still have an interest in what i should have long abandoned as interesting. but that is the way the mind works. and the heart. oh, the heart. the heart is a pompous asshole in the world of living. and loving. oh, and liking.

but this summer, oh this summer, there were moments of clarity and moments of utter who-what-where-ity.

but needless to say, funny.

always funny.

tonight we went for dinner at joe's shanghai, where soup dumplings are king. you bite the top off gently, suck the soup out, then eat the inside. i'm sure that's some sort of wanky metaphor, but i can't be bothered to. suffice to say, it was lovely and really, so is life. despite its complete and utter lack of neatness.

so. so. so.

i am happy. it was all bittersweet. it was. but ultimately, so much joy emerges from that feeling of oh.

oh my. oh dear. oh life.

oh, good.