oh, july.

and that is less lament, more surprised statement. june snuck past me somehow, even though it was a stomper.

and by stomper i mean loud, and messy, and full of thunderstorms and lightning and enlightening moments that left me not a all enlightened, but muddled and puddled, and maybe a touch befuddled.

don't get me wrong, it was fun. there was karaoke and bowling and beer at tile bar. there was a funny beach party with a bouncy castle and coffee in the park and glorious walks to and from work in a summery-soggy haze. but there were also innumerable work headaches and at least one small heartache. and then there was the ambiguity and the awkwardity, which of course isn't a word, but should be one. all in all, june was an odd duck, one to be vaguely remembered or vaguely forgotten, depending on the day.

and now july. and a realization that i constantly pitter patter about the passing of time. every month it's 'can't believe it's already (this month)!' is it a perpetual yearning for what's next or what was before, or just the inability to sit still and enjoy what's happening at this very moment?

i don't know. but i know of at least one song that captures this perfectly. 'the wait' by built to spill. i think it's been reading my mail:

you wait for darkness, then you wait for day...you wait for august then you wait for may...

you wait for something that'll make the waiting worth the wait.

oh, july - you will be worth waiting for.