white christmas.

oh but it's white outside. whiter than snow. no, wait, it is snow. and a large percentage of it is probably greying into slushy sludge as i write. but for a moment, a tranquil, glorious moment last night - it was worthy of wonderland-like comparisons.

i happened to be out in it, of course - i always happen to be out these days. and these nights. it was the perfect sort of evening to huddle in the cozy glow of inside, but no, but no. off i went into the great white east village. thankfully, it was a quiet little gathering, which suited my mood. lately, i just want to take a break. and i guess i'm going to be taking one quite soon - in a few days, i'll brave the hordes of disgruntled travelers and head to newark, and onwards to spend a week in canada's capital town, i mean, city.

and what a lovely week it will be. good cooking, good family, good times chasing toddlers around. there's something great about trading in your adult cynicism for childlike wonder for a few days. you run around. you pretend to be a magical wizard, casting spells on little girls who aren't little girls at all, thank you very much, they're princesses! and aunty maddy, how could you forget that? yes, playing with kids is fun. exhausting, but ah, the reward of remembering that there is purpose in life beyond socializing too much and working too much!

so, yes. a week away from the madness that is this town, and the madness that has been 2009. i come back just in time to say goodbye to one of the stranger years in my life so far. now, i admit - i say that about every year, and rightfully so. every year is that much more bizarre than the one preceding it. and i suppose that is just how growing up feels. like some sort of rollercoaster you can't get off. like some sort of cliche you can't get off.

this is the time of retrospectives and reflective considerations of the last 12 months. i could do a greatest hits, i suppose. i mean, if this year was a tracklist, what would it look like? what would the song titles be for those amazing bands, january - december?

i shall think and overthink that one through.

truancy unmatched.

october slipped into november, and now november is dangerously close to slipping into december.

oh wait, it just did.

cue jingling jangling jingle bells.

not sure why i haven't felt the need to yimmer - things have been extremely worthy of neurotic introspection. which is maybe why i've been absent - when things get crazy, you are less like to sit around writing about how crazy they are. perhaps crazy is the wrong word. more like, bizarre.

but maybe things are always somewhere in the vicinity of bizarre.

and now, 2010. about to begin.

there are a lot of things i want out of this year. resolutions and/or revelations to follow. for now, content. a bit weary, sure, but when, in life, are you not? i think the last few months of this decade have proven what i already knew about this decade: it was a certified wtf-er. and i know, acronyms are the least classy way of analyzing time. but truly, so much has happened, and so much of that which has happened happens to confuse me still.

adulthood is a trip.