it's a quiet riot of a day.

meaning, slow, lonely, with a hint of storms
that were and might still be.

it power showered all night, and now sunday has emerged from the fog --

a desolate mess of grey.

almost impossible to believe that we've wandered into october already. the endless summer proved to be quite the opposite, and fall has snuck up, nudging winter into readiness. yes, yes, this all sounds rather depressing, i realize. but some days you just have to embrace the cloudy and feel a little low. and by low i mean, well, aimless. on a weekend where everyone is off carving turkeys or watching others carve turkeys, i sit feeling murky.

not to say i don't have the option of various get-togethers, i just don't know that i want to exert that kind of social effort. which is very anti-me, and so chances are that attitude will get tossed out when i tire of it, ie when the time rolls around to get up and face the world of various get-togethers i'd rather not attend right now.

no, right now i feel like holing up and eating sushi and reading a novel. and giving thanks for what, for indecision? for the division of my rational thought and my irrational desire to fling myself head on into the who knows wheres of longing?

possibly. but also for the good (which there is much of) and even for the bad (which makes the good that much better).

and all that gravy.