the sunday night.

a cool, calm, collected kind of evening. one that is ready for anything. i'm trying to imitate that right now. though my inclination is to curl up and sigh, i shall overcome. and overexaggerate, as is only appropriate in a self-indulgent world of the internet. after all, there are so many hundreds of millions of bazillions of words floating through this world wide web, why should i feel guilty about adding my own stream of self-consciousness?

so blah blah blah jibber jabber jibber jabber. which is my intellectual way of saying, so there!

i feel like i'm always waiting. waiting for a phone call. waiting for friday. waiting for godot. alright, maybe i've never actually waited for a fictional character that's so fictional he's fictional to other fictional characters. but you get my point. i feel that i have a vast amount of patience, but dearie me, i am starting to get antsy. and not really about life, just in case you think i am about to launch into yet another ramble about changes, and life moving forward and getting my act together. i'm taking a break on that one, at least for a few days. no, right now i am impatient about something i like to call something something.

now, that's very vague, i realize. but i love to dance around things so. yes, i would much rather vaguely skirt the issue. notice that all words associated with avoidance are feminine? dance. skirt. put it delicately. i suppose we are known for our tendency to shuffle gracefully around elephants in rooms - and look pretty while doing it.

anyhow, i feel like i could be in it. fall. fall. falling.

then again, maybe it's just all this waiting has got me anticipating. more than i have in awhile. it is so hard to pinpoint. and yet here i go, trying to nail the ambiguity, when really i should just enjoy it while it lasts. because realization can sometimes lead to all the melodramatic stuff. like reality. and time.

i guess i'll just be satisfied with hitting rock autumn. warm my cold hands. and play it cool with my warm heart.